Wednesday, 13 May 2020

Let's Talk Weddings: What Would I Do Differently?

I don't have regrets about my wedding day, as such. But there are certain things that, given the chance, I'd do differently. And maybe sharing what I would do differently might help readers currently planning their wedding (like my best friend, Molly!) 

1. I wouldn't...plan my wedding with other people in mind. What I really wanted was to elope. The idea of walking up an aisle with all eyes on me filled me with dread. However, I didn't think people would understand if we eloped. And I felt like I'd be letting my family down by potentially denying them the chance to be at our wedding. Halfway through the wedding planning process, my grandmother asked why we didn't elope, as she felt I'd have coped better mentally with an elopement! If I had a do-over, I'd focus solely on Chris and I and what we want.

2. I wouldn't...wear the same shoes all day. I wanted to, because my bridal shoes were gorgeous. But my god, my feet were killing me by the end of the night. A pair of flats would have been perfect for the reception!

3. I wouldn't...feel guilty about not conforming to society's expectations. I didn't go to a wedding dress shop to find my perfect dress. I didn't have my hair professionally coloured (box dyed!) I didn't have a glass of champagne before the ceremony. I didn't have a typical hen do (my husband and granddad were invited, too!) But I felt guilty for all of those things, and more. Like I'd somehow failed at my wedding day. All because it hadn't lived up to the standards society set for me. Now? I don't actually care or even feel like I missed out. And I certainly don't feel like my wedding was any less because it didn't necessarily fit the mould. 

4. I wouldn't...wait so long to have a drink. Besides a glass of Schloer in the morning, I didn't then have a drink until an hour into the reception. Nobody had offered me one, and it didn't occur to me to ask for one or order one myself. It didn't do my head much good to go without hydration for so long! 

5. I wouldn't...wear a white dress. I'd always dreamt of wearing a red wedding dress and yet somehow I ended up wearing a white wedding dress come my wedding day. Another societal expectation that became embedded in my brain, I guess. But if I had the chance to do it all again, I'd wear my dream red dress.

There's almost certainly a few things I'd do differently regarding my wedding if I had the chance to do it all again. But if I were asked for advice by an brides-to-be, this is what I'd say.

Do you have any advice for engaged couples? 

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