Sunday, 16 February 2020

Let's Talk Babies: Why We've Decided To Foster

It's been a while since I last updated you all on our journey to becoming parents. Back in November I spoke about how I'd undergone a hysteroscopy, been placed on Provera to control my bleeding and hormones, and was waiting on an appointment with my gynaecologist. 

Well, I've since had that appointment and in it I was offered two options. Continue trying for a baby with no medical intervention or support. Or put off trying for a baby, go on the progesterone-only-pill, lose some weight and try again in a year. The problem is that according to the NHS's BMI scale I'm morbidly obese. And to get help from a fertility specialist you have to be under a certain number on the BMI scale which, clearly, I am not.

It was a hard decision to make, especially there and then, but I decided to opt for putting off having a baby, work hard on losing weight and come back to baby-making in a year. My husband supported my decision and I'm now on the pill. I don't know that it's working, though. I'm still bleeding, albeit lightly, irregularly. But the only other option I have is to have the coil fitted and I'd really rather not. I've heard so many horror stories about the coil that have put me off. 

Anyway, for the next year I'll be focusing on losing weight and getting healthy. But we're still feeling the absence of a child. So we made the decision to open up our hearts and home to a foster child! 

The fostering process is a long one and almost as invasive as the adoption process. It takes around 8 months and requires an awful lot from us. But it'll all be worth it in the end if we can offer a home to one or two children needing one.

We've filled in the initial application, had some checks run on us, and now we're waiting on the first appointment with our social worker which, by the time this post goes live, will have happened! By Wednesday we should have an idea of whether we're likely to be accepted as foster parents and, if so, we'll go on to attend six, three hour sessions of Skills to Foster training.

There's more required of us after that, and it'll eventually go to a panel who will decide whether to accept us or not. But we could be looking at welcoming a child, or two, by September! 

I'm cautiously optimistic and hopeful. I don't want to get my hopes up too high, as that's what I did when we looked into adoption and was devastated when it didn't pan out for us. But I would so love to become a foster parent, as would my husband, and we've already begun preparing in advance. We had a massive clear-out of every room in the house a few weekends ago. I've got so much to go to the car boot now. And we've decided how we're going to decorate the spare room ready for a child to live there. We're ready. Let's just hope the fostering team think so too. 

Wish us luck!

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