Friday, 29 March 2019

Dream Big, Little One


Dreams. We all have them. And I'm not just talking about the deep sleep kind. I'm talking about the things we'd absolutely love to do in life if money/family/geography/etc was no obstacle. We can't always realise our dreams, for various reasons, but I think it's so important to keep those dreams alive. Because without dreams, what is there to hope for? And without hope, what is life? These are just a few of my dreams...

1. To finish my Criminology degree. I studied Criminology for two years when I left school, but failed the second year. Due to mental health and family issues, I then dropped off. But I'd give anything now to go back, resit the second year, finish my third year and come out with a degree. Why don't I? Money. I wouldn't get funding from SLC to continue with my degree for longer than a year. And I just can't afford the fees of university on my own. Especially not now they've hiked the fees up so much.

2. To become a mum. It may sound strange, but I first knew I wanted to be mum when I was around 12 years old. A teacher was asking us what we wanted to be when were older, and I remember saying "a mummy." I want to be a mum more than I want anything in my life. And I can think of nothing better for myself than to be a stay at home mum, raising a child (or children!) I want to bake cookies for the school bake sale, ferry them around to clubs, and help them with their homework. So far my husband and I have been trying for a baby for four years, and I'm still not pregnant. But I hope one day we'll get there. And if we don't? We'll adopt!

3. Teach. I toyed with the idea of teaching in my first year at uni. We were required to do a combined course in that first year, and Teaching was offered to me as a subject that could run alongside Criminology. My anxiety at that time was so bad though, that I could not see myself managing a classroom full of kids. So I studied Sociology alongside Criminology instead. But second to being a mum, I'd love to be a teacher. The idea of imparting wisdom to children, helping them grow and learn, and being able to fit a career in around our future children sounds perfect to me. Again, money is the obstacle here though. I'd need money to train as a teacher. Money I don't have.

I may not be able to realise my dreams at the moment, but I hold onto the hope that maybe one day I will. A lottery win, an inheritance cheque. For two of my dreams, at least, all it would take is a lucky windfall and I could realise one, or both. And I know that someday I'll fulfill the 'mum dream' - be it with our own child, ideally, or through adoption or fostering. And anyway, I am kind of a mummy now. I'm mummy to our furbaby, Harley!

Tell me your dreams!

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1 comment

  1. You're literally going to be the best Mammy ever. I can't wait for the day to hear you finally brought your baby home.

    Danielle xo

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