Wednesday, 15 November 2017

Let's Talk Babies: Coming Off The Pill

Welcome to a new series! Now that my husband and I are married, the Let's Talk Weddings series is slowly coming to an end (although I still have a few posts in the works for that particular series). And since getting married seems to have given the world and his wife the opportunity to ask us, "when are you going to have a baby?" Let's Talk Babies seemed like the next logical step.

Funny story, though. I came off the pill three years ago. I'll just let that sink in a moment. We started actively trying for a baby two years before we were even engaged, let alone married! Marriage wasn't high on our list of priorities, but children were. And considering I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), we decided to get a jump on baby making. You know, in case it wasn't as straightforward as we'd been lead to believe.

Isn't it true that, when you're a teenager, you're made to believe just holding a boy's hand leads to pregnancy? When I came off the pill, I was sure that, within a year, we'd have a little bundle of  joy in our lives. And that our lives would never be the same again. Well, weren't we just so optimistic? So naive? Turns out getting pregnant? Not as easy as we thought. In fact, it's kind of flukey. The more I look at it, the more I feel like getting pregnant is something of a lucky dip!

 In case you didn't know, let me give you a quick crash course in getting pregnant. See, you can have sex as often you like. Get it on everyday, or a couple of times a week. It doesn't really make a difference. It's less the amount of sex you're getting, and more the timing. Although the specialists will all tell you not to make a sex schedule, because it turns sex into a chore, you can only really get pregnant one week of the month. Assuming you have a standard 28 day cycle, you'll ovulate around day 14. And your window of fertility? It's really small. You can really only get pregnant on the day of ovulation, and the five days preceding it. That's a six day window each month.

Now do you see why I said it seems like something of a lucky dip? When you look at the fact that, out of a thirty day month, there are only six days where you could conceivably conceive; it seems nothing short of miraculous that anyone ever gets pregnant. It's important to remember, though, that sperm can live up to five days inside of a woman's body, if the right cervical fluid is present. So it's definitely worth getting it on before and after your fertile window. Not least because, you don't want sex to become a chore. Which it will, if you place too much importance on having sex copiously during your fertile window. 

When I came off the pill, three years ago, I was so sure I would be pregnant within the first month. Every month that passed, every spot of blood in my knickers, was a crushing blow. Months passed, then years. Until finally, we had to bite the bullet and visit our GP. I'll be talking more about what happened when we visited our GP in the next instalment of Let's Talk Babies.

I want to leave you with this parting thought; getting pregnant really isn't as easy as our school teachers would have had us believe. It's okay if it takes a year, two years, three even. But if you've been trying for a baby for over a year, you really should visit your GP for advice and support. There's so much that the specialists can do to help, if you're having trouble conceiving, so don't struggle alone. 

Did you have trouble getting pregnant? 

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